You may remember Meyers Leonard for his time with the Portland Trail Blazers or with the Miami Heat. Or even for the anti-Semitic slur that he used during a twitch stream in 2021. Since that, the former first-round pick has not played in the NBA. now he is eyeing an NBA retun.

“I feel like I’m living in a bad dream,” Leonard told Jeremy Schaap of “Outside the Lines” in an interview Tuesday. “…There’s not a hateful cell in my body. And I know that I made a huge, huge mistake.”

The NBA free agent has not played in an NBA game since January 2021, and was suspended just two months later for using the slur while streaming “Call of Duty”. In the time between then and now, Leonard suffered an ankle injury in April 2021, and suffered nerve damage due to the procedure. Over the past two seasons, he has spent time not only rehabbing both a shoulder and ankle injury but also raising his first child.

During the times of 2020, when the World had an issue with police brutality, Meyers Leonard was in the news for standing for the National Anthem. Though he felt he would betraying his brother who has served in the United States Military, but he also felt pain in his heart for people of color after the murder of George Floyd and the shooting of Jacob Blake.

Now, two years later, Leonard, 30, recently worked out for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Though, after those workouts, the Lakers traded for Rui Hachimura.

On the show with Schaap, Leonard stated: “There’s less than ideal language used in a large portion of video gaming. There are absolutely no excuses for what happened that day. And ignorance, sadly, is a very real thing… I am not running from this, but I did not know that it happened.”

Later after the slur, Leonard apologized on Instagram and was suspended for a week. He was then fined $50,000 and traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder, who immediately released him.

“I felt like I had just destroyed my life and everything that I worked for, to be honest,” he told Schapp. “People had every right to, I suppose make assumptions about me. People were going to have to, in the media, comment on this. And I understand, I do. I said, you better go handle this and show people what’s in your heart.”

“I thought it’d be easier to be dead than it would to deal with what had happened,” Leonard added. “Because I want everyone to like me. I don’t hate anybody. I would never intentionally hurt anybody.

When asked about Kyrie Irving promoting antisemitism earlier this season, Leonard added:

“I can only speak for myself and I would say that antisemitism is very real and more people do need to be educated and understand everything… about the history of what’s gone on. Even more importantly, if you do make a mistake or if you do something that maybe you didn’t intend to hurt somebody, but then you’re trying to explain it, it is just simply best, in my opinion, to say sorry and heal what has ever happened.”

Meyers has been held accountable for the actions, and term that he used not only by himself but also by the NBA:

“Since his use of a derogatory and unacceptable term in 2021,” said NBA spokesman Mike Bass said. “Meyers Leonard has been held accountable and has dedicated considerable time and effort to understand the impact of his comment. He met with numerous leaders in the Jewish community and participated in community programs to educate himself and use his platform to share his learnings with others.”

Immediately after the event took place, Leonard reached out and received counseling from two rabbis in South Florida, and met with numerous Jewish organizations to learn more about antisemitism.

Now as Leonard looks to return to the court, he understands the consequences and what he may have to deal with.

“I’ll be a little scared of what someone might say to me, what a fan might say,” he said on the podcast. “But I always come back to this: Don’t give up. If you’re a good person and you work hard, things are going to work out in life. And I wholeheartedly believe that.”

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